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Mental health support
It’s very common to feel mixed emotions after giving birth. Your hormone levels are changing rapidly, and it can be a major adjustment from being pregnant to looking after your new baby. Even if your birth was uncomplicated, you may be finding adjusting to becoming a parent to your newborn a struggle at times.
If things were difficult in labour and you or your baby needed emergency assistance or you felt your birth experience was traumatic, you may need extra support to cope with what has happened. If you have any worries, then speak to your midwife who will be able to refer you for support.
All women and families will experience some emotional ups and downs following a new addition to the family.
Read about the Baby Blues, a normal and common dip in mood following the birth of a baby.
The important thing is to be able to talk to those around you about how you are feeling. If your mood is low and does not seem to be improving a couple of weeks after the birth, or if you are struggling with your thoughts and feelings, it is reassuring to know that this is common and there is good support available to help you overcome this.
It can be helpful to remember that 1 in 5 women will experience some mental health issues during pregnancy or after birth and that the sooner you get support, the better for your recovery.
Find out more on the Kent & Medway Bump, Birth & Beyond mental health issues and support page.
Support for birth partners
Now your new baby is here, you may have already welcomed a lot of changes and done everything you can to support your partner through pregnancy and the birth. Many Dads and partners feel a lot of pressure to be the family ‘rock’, putting themselves last. Being a supportive partner isn’t just about keeping everyone else happy, though. Carving out time to think about your own needs is important, too.
While it is normal to feel tired and anxious as a new parent, if you’ve been feeling really down and it’s getting too much then it is probably time to talk.
Realising you need help is one thing, but we know that telling someone else and getting that help can be really hard. No one will think you are weak for asking for support if you need it.
Where can partners go for support?
Try your GP or one of the dedicated mental health organisations and support groups such as:
Mind
You can contact Mind’s info line 9am to 6pm, Monday to Friday on 0300 123 3393.
Text them on 86463, or email info@mind.org.uk.
CALM
The Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) offer support to any man who is down or in crisis online, over the phone on 0800 58 58 58, or on web chat.
PND Daddies
The PND Daddy runs a Twitter chat for dads who suffer with PND and need support. Join in on Tuesdays 8-9pm using #PNDDaddies.
PANDAS Dads
PANDAS Dads have a private Facebook support group to help dads going through and anxiety and/or those who are supporting their partner with perinatal mental illness.
Samaritans
Day or night, Samaritans are there if you need to talk. Call them on 116 123.
SMS4dads
SMS4dads gives dads information and connects them to online services by text. As well as this, every three weeks you get an interactive ‘How’s it going?” message. Give it a try.
Recovering from birth
How long it takes to recover from birth will depend on the type of birth you had, the support you have around you, and your own general health and wellbeing.
Even with a straightforward vaginal birth, it’s important to remember that your womb will need to heal, where the placenta came away. It’s important to take time to get used to your new role as a parent, or to having another child, and to look after yourself.
The information on the Kent & Medway Bump, Birth & Beyond page will help you to understand how to take care of yourself, whatever type of birth you have had.
What to expect after birth
Some women leave after 24 hours and others may stay a few days before they can take their baby home. You may have to stay longer if you had a caesarean section or if you had a complicated labour, for example if your baby was premature.
Who will care for me when I am at home with my baby?
Once you are at home, the midwife should visit you on the first day after you've been discharged from the hospital to check on you and your baby. Call the hospital if this doesn’t happen.
There is no set number of visits you will have from your midwife. They will visit you for as long as they think you need their support. However, you will usually have a minimum of 3 visits in the first couple of weeks.
Your child’s health record
Shortly before or after your baby is born, you'll be given a personal child health record. This is known as the ‘red book’. It is used to record your child's height and weight, vaccinations and other important information.
You may find it helpful to keep this book with any other information you’ve been given about your pregnancy and labour, so you find it easier to refer to during any postnatal appointments.
Meeting your health visitor
You’ll start seeing your health visitor around 10 days after your baby is born. A health visitor is a qualified nurse or midwife who is there to help you, your family and your new baby stay healthy.
They can visit you at home or you can see them at your local child health clinic, GP surgery or health centre. You’ll be given their contact details in case you need any support outside appointment times.